Talk to the Mask

As teens explore their use of "masks" they discover that they sometimes choose to hide behind them rather than risk exposing their true selves. When they're not feeling sure of themselves, or when they feel vulnerable, they may find it easier to lose themselves in a mask than to show their real thoughts, feelings, and identities. Better to be criticized for your mask than to be criticized for who you are.

Some even feel as though they have to wear masks around their parents. They put on the face of the Dutiful Daughter, the Tough-as-Nails Linebacker, or the Ivy League Up-and-Comer just to get Mom and Dad's acceptance.

When they work with the concept of masking, they discover that masks are a lot like labels. Everybody has more than one. They have little or nothing to do with who a person really is. And they cover up the unique, complex, incredible individual underneath. But there's a difference. Labels are identities other people stick on us; masks are identities we stick on ourselves.

For teenagers, the idea of wearing a mask has a lot of appeal. Trying to be themselves, especially when they're not even sure who that is, is frustrating, messy, and scary. Wearing a mask is easy, convenient, and safe. But there's a downside: What if they wear that mask so long that they forget who's under it?

One SuperCamp mom wrote us that her son realized just how much he'd been affected by his own masking: "... he proceeded to tell us that we didn't know him at all, that he'd been so hidden behind his mask that he wasn't sure who he was anymore."

Like those who cave in to conformity or obsess over perfection, people who get into the habit of hiding behind masks are robbing themselves of opportunities to develop as individuals. To make matters worse, if they're making choices for themselves based on their masks instead of on their true desires, they could be leading themselves further and further down a path that's all wrong for them.

Much of the content of this website is excerpted from the book The Seven Biggest Teen Problems And How To Turn Them Into Strengths - Copyright © 2006 by Bobbi DePorter. All rights reserved. No part of the content of the website may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. SuperCamp®, Quantum Learning® and Learning Forum® are registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark office.