Conformity: Different Drummers Need Not Apply

"Why are you so weird?"

This is what a lot of young people hear when they're just being themselves. They may not realize that if they're being true to themselves, following their own interests, sometimes they're going to stick out. Sometimes they'll be zigging when everybody else is zagging. That's called being an individual. But in a teen's world, sticking out can attract a lot of negative attention.

Every culture has rules about conformity. A social scientist would probably explain that some kind of pressure is needed to hold people to an agreed-upon standard of behavior. But it can also hold them back. In Russia, young people who excel or show a lot of personality may be told, "Don't be a tall poppy." The first time we did our program in Russia, parents came to us afterward with tears in their eyes, so excited to see their children going for a higher level of achievement, no longer worried about whether anyone thought they were tall poppies.

Duncan, a Chinese student, wrote us that when he was younger he was always asking questions and inventing things, keeping a pretty high profile in a culture that discouraged standing out. So many of his classmates thought he was weird that over time he became timid.

Teens may not realize that when they give in to this pressure they're turning away from their own uniqueness. As a result, they don't follow the interests, hobbies, and passions that make them who they are. They don't develop their unique points of view, personal styles, or individual contributions. And there's another downside to conformity - they don't learn to see the value of diversity, in themselves or in others.

Fortunately, Duncan was able to use the experiences he went through in our program to embrace his uniqueness. He has since gone on to do amazing things. He's studied physics, dance, ecology, and several languages - and is now helping others discover their unique contributions.

Much of the content of this website is excerpted from the book The Seven Biggest Teen Problems And How To Turn Them Into Strengths - Copyright © 2006 by Bobbi DePorter. All rights reserved. No part of the content of the website may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. SuperCamp®, Quantum Learning® and Learning Forum® are registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark office.